Tips to Prioritise your Wellbeing When Juggling Parenthood and a Busy Work Life…
This blog provides practical tips for veterinary professionals who are also parents, focusing on how to prioritize their wellbeing while managing a demanding career and family life. It offers advice on planning, sharing responsibilities, being realistic, seeking support, and allocating time for self-care to avoid burnout.
Being a vet or vet nurse can feel draining. Yes, they're really rewarding roles and we get to make decisions, start treatments, and perform procedures that have a clear positive effect on the lives of animals. But the hours can be long and the pressure and responsibility high, and it’s particularly tough when the outcome for the patient doesn’t reflect our hard work. But it’s worth it, right? Because working in veterinary is something we always dreamed of.
But what if you have another dream? What if you’ve always seen yourself settling down and having children and a family life? Is that compatible with a fulfilling career in veterinary? Can you really have both?
Being a parent brings a mixed bag of rewards and challenges. Different life stages present various struggles, from the exhaustion from disturbed sleep from night feeds and co-sleeping in the early years, to the mental strain of organising childcare and travel to clubs and hobbies as children grow. All the while, you’re shaping a little person – doing your best to give them the best foundations for a good, happy life with healthy relationships.
Do you really have enough in the tank to pursue both dreams? Maybe, but it’s not easy.
It's unsurprising, then, that many vets and nurses who are also parents have poor wellbeing. After all, it’s easy to overlook our own wellbeing in any scenario, let alone when there are poorly patients or dependant little people demanding our time. So, how do we prioritise our wellbeing when juggling parenthood and a busy work life?
- Plan ahead
When life is overwhelming and you're busy, it can feel like you're just muddling through the days as best you can with no real plan. But planning for the week can give you a sense of control, helping you to identify any time-keeping issues in advance and keep things running as smoothly as possible. Of course, it takes a little more time at the start of the week, and things are subject to change. But if you have a vague idea of what you and your family are doing each day, you might feel a bit lighter because there are fewer worries causing background noise in your brain.
- Share the load
If you have a partner, family, or close friends to lean on, try to delegate some of the responsibilities. Having a shared calendar with your partner (or anyone else who's a big part of your family life) will keep them informed and involved in any problem-solving of clashing commitments.
- Be realistic
You’re just one person, and as much as you might strive to be SuperMum or SuperDad, taking on too much will only add pressure that you don't need. It's easy to feel like you should be giving more – staying longer at work to help a colleague or using your only half day to take your child on an amazing outing – but is that sustainable? Remember the importance of rest and that you can be more present for your children and patients when you're not feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted.
- Be prepared
Make taking a break as easy as possible by being prepared. I bet you’re used to packing a bag full of snacks and drinks for your child when you go out, but do you ever bring anything for yourself? Packing a few feel-good, energy-boosting snacks when you go out for work or recreation will mean you have no excuse not to take a few minutes for yourself – the food is there ready for you.
- Share your needs
If you’re regularly missing your breaks at work, working overtime, or missing your child’s bedtime, it’s time to speak to your employer. Think about what would make this period in your life easier for you, whether that’s a change in work pattern, reduced hours, or a commitment to regular breaks. Perhaps you’re a breastfeeding mum who needs regular time to pump. Whatever you need, start the conversation with your boss.
Of course, it’s also important to share your needs outside of work with your partner or family. If the parenting load feels unbalanced, or there’s just something you’d like more help with, speak to your support network and let them know how they can help.
- Seek support
It might feel like it, but you're not alone in your struggles. Parenthood is often depicted as a highlight reel, full of rewarding and treasured moments and without any of the tantrums, arguments, and challenges. If you're finding it hard, you're not failing. You're not ungrateful. There's nothing wrong with you, nor your child/children. You're doing your best and you're doing a great job. Don't be ashamed to be open with your partner, family, and friends, or reach out to your employer or GP. Often, some of the best support comes from other parents who can really relate, so why not speak to friends who are parents or look for groups for parents in your area?
- Allocate time for you
Time for yourself might feel like it’s way down your list of priorities, but should it be? Remember, we can’t care for others, whether our patients or our families, on an empty tank. What makes you feel replenished? It's different for everyone and changes depending on the situation. Perhaps right now you need rest, or maybe you need quiet time to read away from the sensory overload of barking dogs or screaming children. Or are you craving the opportunity to do something you enjoy, a hobby or activity that's been neglected due to lack of time? It's not selfish to take time for yourself. Creating a regular slot where you do something for yourself will promote your sense of self and give you something to look forward to.
- Be kind to yourself
Above all, be kind to yourself. Life is messy and, even with the best intentions, there'll be times when your wellbeing drops off your radar. Don't use this as an opportunity to make yourself feel bad. The most important thing is to keep trying to create good habits that promote your wellbeing, so focus on the steps you've taken and how far you've come, not on the occasions when a busy life got the better of you.
Need more help?
VetLed’s HALT campaign is creating waves in the veterinary profession as it aims to make meeting our needs the norm in every practice and organisation. Resources like practice posters and information sheets act as great reminders and conversation starters. We can also provide HALT training workshops for your team, where we share the impact of poor wellbeing on patient safety (and our own health) and explore strategies to make wellbeing a priority within your team.
Flexee Vet is constantly working to promote flexible working for vets and nurses. Check out their social media for tips and support for making flexible working a reality.
